| [ |
music |
| |
my girl's a star |
] |
damn, so, im dead. i had a huge realization when i was high yesterday that...i really need to move on. i think i did. officially. i duno, i cant be sure, but im almost positive. if you know what im talking about, great, if you dont, you dont need to. i love smoking weed. i tried to quit, but, wtf? why? hahah yeah right. im so sick of people flaking. like really, its so fuckin retarded. EVERY PERSON WHO DOES IT. YOU PISS ME OFF WHEN YOU DO IT, WHETHER OR NOT I SAY ANYTHING. it is NOT funny or cute or 'lol' so if you flake on me go fuck yourself because i wont be calling you anymore from now on, because, you fuckin suck. im sick of that bullshit. dont make plans with people if you cant follow thru with them, for real...its pointless. especially if you are one of my best friends, come on now. my rooms hella messy and i realllly dont want to clean it, but i want it to be clean. dilemma indeed. adam left bows&arrows...i wanted to say bye to him, even tho me n him stopped getting along at the end of work, i still enjoyed when me and him were homies! sucks that i didnt get to :/ whateva. i love my job at peets. i keep saying that but i really do i realized what my problem is. i love connecting with people, so much, that when i DO have connections i have a really hard time letting go of them. i cant really accept a short term connection. so im working on it. its going well so far....yeayyy im hella juiced for dance class tonight. iono why. i just am! also i have crushes on like...a trillion people right now but i have absolutely no motivation to pursue them. probably just because i expect everyone to flake these days.
yehhhh wow.
ALSO!!!!!! this is something weird. ive been havin really crazy dreams lately. im not sure how to handle them really. they're scaring me. i had one dream where i was lucid dreaming, and so i knew i was in a dream, but i COULDNT get out of it. that might sound stupid but it was scary as fuck while it was happening. finally i woke up and i couldnt tell if i was still dreaming or if i was really awake for like 10 minutes afterwards. not tight! then last night i had a dream that i murdered some people. i duno.
im very emotionally overwhelmed lately.....im REALLY happy, but then also i just feel really depressed sometimes. i guess thats completely normal, but its a little weird too. i duno. ive just been feeling extremeley changed. i feel really alone, but its not in a bad way, and its weird because i have ppl all around me. its hard to describe. im not gona try anymore
heres some shit i been doin:



<333
|